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هجيرالصمت
27-02-2000, 11:04 PM
There is no word which can describe ..how i feel to you
but belive or not i espect you as avery dear person for me ...and i miss you in such way that will never ever thought
iam very hope dear to open net and find you there
or to open the door to find you there too
i wish you damn luck to face many problems when you ask for my help
to be your hero
i need you dearest ever to make taste for for what i espect from flying through this field
i might feel shyness to show you care that i hold inside of mine
i will be ever missing you unless you are alive with me
so please please please please please please take it so serious
maybe iam weak in my level
but i believe for what people in past said
they said those days
words which is come from heart should find direction to reach other hearts
dearest ever we are responsible for what we are saying and for promises that we are give
dearest ever
take care


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[b]<small><small>[ تم تعديل الموضوع بواسطة &nbsp; هجيرالصمت &nbsp; يوم &nbsp; 27-02-2000]

بنت العرب
28-02-2000, 07:16 AM
Salam Brother

To be frank with you, the poem was better http://www.swalif.net/swalif1/ubb/smile.gif....but hey, keep going and try writing in all different forms....never quit till u reach your goal http://www.swalif.net/swalif1/ubb/smile.gif

There are some mistakes that I like to point out....
I feel to you) is incorrect.....(I feel for you) is the correct way)
believe or not is missing the subject....believe (it) or not...
espect is an unknown verb to me.....I thought that you meant "respect"....but then I saw it again and I think you meant there "expect".....
(dear for me) is incorrect....it is (dear to me)
(and I miss you in such way that will never ever thought)
.......it is better to say:
(and I miss you in a way that you could never imagine)....
And I stop here before I bore you any further....
My advice to you is to know the verbs from the nouns...try to improve your grammar to be able to deliver your idea clearly to the reader.....also I think a good practice for you to avoid spelling mistakes is to write on word document....where spelling mistakes are easily detected.....furthermore, it would be very useful I you read English novels.....I started with Agatha Christy's (I don't think I am spelling her name right)...the English she uses is simple, yet very versatile......and the last thing I want to say, is don't translate your feelings from Arabic into English.....since most of the times what is correct in Arabic it is not in English and vice versa....I know this is easier said than done....but this is the way to excel in English writing....
Looking forward to read more by you....

http://bentalarab.tripod.com/bentalarab.gif

هجيرالصمت
28-02-2000, 05:54 PM
dear sis
belive it or not this poem was only letter i was nearly to send it to friend when my pc get stock as usual so after some time i wrote it again and i decided to put in swalif and i add some addtional to make it like this and ......
thanx so much for your advice and for this long reply i will try keep ur advice in my brain and i treasure that and i will keep on writing and hope see ur poem very soon then i can correct for you
the problem is that i use english with people talking it as second language
hope reply with no mistakes

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